Josey Marianne Kuterlon

[Josey Kuterlon]

Josey Marianne Kuterlon 'S BEEN ON THE RUN
DRIVING IN THE SUN
LOOKING OUT FOR NUMBER ONE.

hey, you! yeah, i'm talking to you. wake the hell up! good.
welcome to the When You Were Young tour. it is
mandatory that you fill out this paperwork. yes, all of it. why?
because we doggone said so, that's why! now take a seat and
please be quiet. i said be quiet!

CALIFORNIA HERE WE COME,
RIGHT BACK WHERE WE STARTED FROM.

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"YOU CAN CALL ME GOD! Naw, don't do that, I'm thinking that would be a little odd. Well, I don't really give a shit what you call me."

I HAVE TO ASK: MALE, FEMALE, OR SOMETHING IN BETWEEN?
"I would be a female because I have a vagina."

GOOD, I WAS STARTING TO WORRY. NOW, HOW OLD ARE YOU EXACTLY?
"Seventeen. BITCH I SKIPPED A GRADE AND GRADUATED EARLY! My birthday is May 29, 89 B.C. KIDDING, you do the math. And I think I'm a Gemini, I don't know though."

WELL, YOU LOOK YOUNG FOR YOUR AGE. HOW DO YOU STAY IN SHAPE?
"I eat healthy and laugh when people eat junk food. Unless it's pizza, then you better give me some, or I'll be pissed."

OH, I'LL HAVE TO TRY THAT. MOVING ON: YOUR HAIR, IS THAT YOUR NATURAL COLOR?
"In some places."

DON'T MEAN TO BE A PEST BUT, HOW TALL ARE YOU EXACTLY?
"5'5. Damn it, I love it."

I WOULD NEVER HAVE CONSIDERED THAT GEORGE CLOONEY MIGHT BE GAY. WHAT ABOUT YOU?
"My mom thinks George Clooney is a good looking man. But I've always thought that he was gay. ME? I'm thinking I like the penis."

OH REALLY? WELL, WHAT BAND ARE YOU IN WHAT'S YOUR POSITION?
"That's What WE Get. I'm the lead singer, you got it?."

WELL THEN, WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?
"Right right. This is where I sit here and try to tell you everything that I do. BUT, I'm Josey and I don't do that. In my spare time, I fuck boys, eat pizza, get shit faced and smoke some weed. Period."

DON'T WORRY, THIS IS ALL CONFIDENTIAL. GO AHEAD, TELL US WHAT YOU ENJOY.
"I enjoy sex. That's the best kind of entertainment. Singing and playing guitar and piano are cool too. Oh, and I eat pizza A LOT! It's really good. What else do I like. Oh, I like fighting and fucking people up. It makes me smile Cussing is coooooool."

WHAT ABOUT SOMETHING THAT GETS ON YOUR NERVES?
"Most likely you. Haha, I'm just kidding. But no, seriously, sometimes people really do get on my nerves. I hate people that talk shit, but then again, I love it. Because they're wasting their breath on me. Meaning that they have nothing better to do."

I'LL HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT. SO, ARE YOU GOOD AT ANYTHING?
"I'm good at sex, kissing, singing and shit like that. I'm not perfect and I don't give a shit. I'm not a whore, I just know how to get what I want, ya know?"

THAT'S INTERESTING, NOW WHAT ARE YOU NOT SO GOOD AT?
"I'm not so good at being nice. People tell me that I need to get rid of my brass knuckles and my knife, but you know what I say to that? FUCK YOU! I like my shit. I've also been told that I'm not a good girl friend, but I don't think that I am. Because I haven't had a boy friend since, oh lets see, like ninth grade. So suck my clit!."

I BET I CAN BEAT YOU IN A THUMB WRESTLE AND HOLD MY BREATHE LONGER THAN YOU AT THE SAME TIME.
"You're hilarious. I'd totally KICK YOUR ASS!"

YOU MUST THINK I'M CRAZY. OH WELL, SAY, WHAT KIND OF QUALITIES DO YOU LIKE IN A SPOUSE?
"They gotta be hott. Fuck that 'looks don't matter' shit. My guys gotta be one sexy beast. I like when guys can sing, scream or play an instrument. Do drugs with me? I'll love you forever. OKAY FINE! You DO have to have a personality too."

OH, I GUESS I'M NOT YOUR TYPE THEN, EH? WELL, WHAT DO YOU FIND UNATTRACTIVE IN A PERSON?
"When you're ugly. That's what I find unattractive. And if you make me fall asleep with your boringness, I'll just laugh at you when I see you again."

FINE, BE LIKE THAT. I DON'T LIKE YOU ANYWAYS.
"Eh, I get that a lot. You know what I think? FUCK YOU, because chances are, I hate you too."

OK, WE'RE GONNA PLAY A GAME. I'M GOING TO ASK SOME SIMPLE QUESTIONS, AND YOUR GOING TO SAY THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND, OK?
"A rooster and a cat were on the top of a building, the cat fell off and fell into a lake. Why did the rooster like that? (Why?) Because cock likes wet pussy."

FAVORITE FOOD?
"BY FAR, pizza."

FAVORITE MOVIE?
"Finding Nemo. FUCK YOUR TWILIGHT SHIT!"

FAVORITE BAND/ARTIST?
"Chiodos, All Time Low, Bring Me The Horizon. Bitches like that."

FAVORITE DRINK?
"Anything with alcohol."

FAVORITE SUBJECT?
"Ugh, I hate anything that I have to reallllllly think at."

FAVORITE SPICE GIRL?
"I don't know her name, but the one with the HUGE tits, because I always wanted boobs like hers."

FAVORITE TV SHOW?
"Spongebob. Only because two gays made it. And gays are cool."

FAVORITE HOLIDAY AND SEASON?
"I like Christmas because people buy me things. And I like summer because I get to run around in little bikinis and no one can say anything to me."

FAVORITE WORD?
"Fuck. Yep, that's the one."

FAVORITE FAMOUS DEAD PERSON?
"Beethoven. He was an asshole, that's why I love him. OH WAIT! I think I have a better one. The Crocodile Hunter..."

FAVORITE TIME OF DAY?
"12:00am. Because then I know I've made it through another day."

FAVORITE COLOR?
"Blue's cool."

FAVORITE BOOK?
"HAHAH, I don't read."

FAVORITE TOY?
"Cell phone/Computer."

WELL, WASN'T THAT FUN? ON TO THE SERIOUS SHIT. TELL ME A BIT ABOUT YOURSELF.
"I'm seriously a bitch. You've been warned. But hey, don't get me wrong, I can be a nice person, if I give you the chance to get to know me. I sometimes tend to judge people before I know them. So don't tell me not to do it, because I probably already have. I'm sometimes known as a whore, but what can I say? Nothing."

MHMM, AND WHAT ABOUT YOUR FAMILY?
"My mom lives in Dallas, Texas with her husband Harold and my annoying ass twin brothers, Conner and Calvin. My dad's pretty cool and I hate his wife Kim. They just got married when I got back from my Detention Center. OOOPS, did I forget to tell you about that? Oh well. Uhm and they have a daughter names Taylor who never stops crying."

VERY INTERESTING. SO HOW DID YOU END UP IN AT THIS TOUR?
"I was born in Port Saint Lucie, Florida. I ended up in this band when I was passing by a sign that said they were holding auditions, and I said what the hell and tried out. I was immediately accepted and now here I am."

RIGHT ON, MY FRIEND. SO, CAN YOU TELL US WHAT WAS YOUR BEST MEMORY?
"My best memory? Oh God, that's hard. I really can't think of anything off the top of my head. Uhm, I'd guess I'd have to say when I was ten, before my mom got pregnant and everything was perfect."

HOW, LOVELY. AND WHAT ABOUT YOUR WORST MEMORY?
"When I lost everything that I truly cared about."

NOW, JUST WONDERING. WHAT RELIGION ARE YOU EXACTLY?
"Atheist, because if there was a God, he wouldn't have made my child life hell."

WHAT SORT OF CAREER WILL YOU GO INTO THEN?
"I don't have a job right now. But I'd like to be an astronaut, and get to meet some aliens. That'd be cool. But seriously, when my band days are over, I think I'm going to try to go to college, and become a therapist. Because they really can help you."

WHAT HAPPENED TO BE YOUR FIRST WORDS?
"Pretty much like every other kid on the face of the earth it was 'Dada'."

OMGWTFBBQ?!? WELL, LOOK AT THAT. I'VE NEVER SEEN A GENIE ACTUALLY COME OUT OF THE BOTTLE. WHAT ARE YOUR THREE WISHES?
"BITCH GIMME A PONY! Oh, and a really hott, LOYAL boy friend. I'd like that. And for my last wish, I want three more wishes. And then I would just go on from there until forever. Then with those, I'd wish for my life to go back to when my parents were together and we were all happy. But I'd totally stay this age. And when I got to the last wish, I'd just keep asking for three more."


WOW, WASN'T THAT FASCINATING?
"Yep. It made me tear up a little."

SO, YOU, UH, WITH ANYBODY AT THE PRESENT MOMENT?
"Nope. Because every boy that I've ever come across just wants me for sex and nothing more. Even if I'm obsessed with sex, doesn't mean that I don't want to commit myself to that special someone."

WELL, YOU WANNA GO OUT SOME TIME? WHERE CAN I TAKE YA?
"With you? No. But I love going out. I'm pretty simple, just take me to a movie, dinner and then the beach after where we can cuddle and maybe have sex later. JUST SAYING!."

HEY, IF YOUR NOT BUSY FRIDAY...WANNA GO OUT?
"Uhh, no."

ALRIGHT, WHATEVER/COOL. THIS INTERVIEW IS COMING TO AN END. ANYTHING YOU WANT TO TELL US?
"Mr. Dude, I have to ask you something. What color would a Smurf turn if you choked him. Because I don't think that he would turn any other color, I just think his head would explode. Yeah."

THIS FAKE INTERVIEWER DUDE GUY WILL SELF DESTRUCT IN FIVE SECONDS.
"You mean, I get to see someone die?! COOL!."
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ON THE STEREO,
LISTEN AS WE GO,
DRIVING DOWN THE 101.
Danyelle has been trying to escape this doggone planet for fourteen years,
but they've found themselves stuck in the vortex of role playing for three years years.
too bad. we could have busted them out if they didn't live all the way in
the Florida/Eastern timezone. you can always reach them at [e-mail] (seriously, add me to your aim).
hold up, you'll need the password, which is everyone takes a bite and we'll need
to see some proof that you're a guuuuurl. yep, pull down those pants.
ok, well, i'll just take your paperwork and be going:

Harmony woke up to a screaming alarm clock, letting her know that she had to get up and get ready for school. ''Damn it.'' She muttered as she rolled off her bed and on to the floor. As she was walking out of her room she grabbed her towel and ran to the bathroom that she had to share with her little sister. She beat Sam there by only a few seconds. She locked her out and said "Sorry Sam, I love you to death, but I take longer to get ready and I have to look good for my first day. Jumping in the cold shower, she saw that her shampoo was missing and the only thing that she had in there was her little sisters Hannah Montana sparkly shampoo and conditioner. She had no choice but to use it, so she did and then hurried so that she could start getting ready. Wrapping herself in the towel, she opened the door to find her little sister sitting there waiting for the bathroom. She messed her her hair up and said "There ya go kiddo." She turned some music on as she got dressed and did her makeup.

When she was finally done she rad to get her book bag and keys. She kissed her mom and little sister as she ran out the door to her car. She got in and turned it on, playing with the radio some, making sure that it was still set to what she wanted. She pulled out of the driveway and was off to her first day of her new high school. She was horrible with directions and hated driving when she didn't know where she was going, but she did an okay job with getting there. When she turned off her roaring Red Mustang, she slowly got out of her car, grabbing her book bag and slinging it over her shoulder. When she was out, she shut her door, locked the car and smiled as she walked up the stairs of Dallas High School. She wasn't expected to be confronted so soon and smiled when she did. She smiled at the cute boy and let him make his introduction. "Hey there. I'm Drake. You must be Harmony." Harmony smiled, surprised that the boy knew her name too. "Yeah, that's me. Nice to meet you." Her day was already good, but now that she had this adorable boy talking to her, she knew that it was going to keep on getting better. "As to you. Would you like me to show you around?" Drake asked with a small toothless smile. Harmony nodded and they walked off together as Drake told her all about the school.

CALIFORNIA HERE WE COME,
RIGHT BACK WHERE WE STARTED FROM.
say hold up, wait a minute. let me put some pimpin' in
it! yep, that's right, this sexy application template was made
by yours truly: CHRISS a.k.a. LENNY GOT LAID ?! @
CAUTION 2.0. yeah, see those fawesome lyrics? that be
california by none other than phantom planet. and by the way,
if you happen to remove this little credit, i'll send vampires
after you in the night to rip out your jugular. and they won't
be as sexy as you think the cullens are. uh-huh.[/center]

[eelizabeth !]

Accepted!

make sure to claim your face, or someone might steal it![/sup][/center]