leave me out with the waste ;; johnny

[Isabella Castellona]

Why did she always find herself alone in the middle of the night these days?

She didn't quite get why she didn't just stay put inside the safety of her own home, well hotel room, but for some reason as dusk fell she'd begin to wander. Tonight she hadn't felt like going home just yet, sure it was late but she didn't have anything waiting for her back in the empty room. Bella didn't have the luxury of friends and so going to a party was out. She didn't have people to call anymore, she didn't know anyone here. Maybe a few people here and there that she had met in passing. But no one that she really wanted to hang out with. Bella was and always would be a loner. It was how it was and how it always would be. She wasn't super pretty like the rock stars or the groupies, she was just your average Jane Doe, alone in the middle of the night.

At the moment she was curled on a tire swing, sitting indian style with her back resting against one of the chains. She was in jeans tonight, dark and slim fitting on her thin legs. They were tucked into a pair of black boots and a white v-neck hung baggily off her emaciated torso. She was losing more weight still, forgetting or just not eating period. Like always it wasn't intentional it just was an aftermath of stress. She wore no jacket though hoping not to run into anyone at all. So the scars along her arms shone against the milky white of her skin, little criss crosses that marred the perfect flesh. There weren't as many fresh ones visible there, these days if she was that upset they went upon her hip bones as a constant reminder not to focus on the hurt. Some days were better than others though, when she had been with Jarrett had been a good day for Bells she even managed to smile for him. But yesterday she and Jesse fought about nothing over the phone and he'd brought up Finn by accident and then Jenn as well. That was when she began to have her bad day. Of course he was sorry but it didn't change anything. She'd reacted the only way she knew how, with more pain.

A cigarette rested in her cracking lips, dim copper eyes closed as she blew smoke out into the air. Sure this might be illegal but she didn't give a shit. She needed a cigarette after today, she'd been drawing in her room earlier and listening to Damien Rice. Zoning out like she often did she'd snapped out of it when the phone rang but that's not what caused the nicotine need, it had been the smoldering hate filled eyes that lay on the page in front of her. It had been awhile since she had drawn Johnny and she was thankful for that. Though they had a mutual hatred for each other she still missed his touch. She still missed laying in his chest that one fateful evening and speaking to him like she cared. "NO!" She growled beneath her breath. She would not let these thoughts creep in. He was gone. Finn was gone. They all were gone. And it was time for the little girl to move the hell on.

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[Johnny Wood]

Insomnia had struck hard again, causing Johnny a wasted thirty minutes of tossing around in bed. He wasn’t much for being presistant, especially when it came to fighting for sleep. It was with an irritated sigh that Johnny sat up in bed, untangling the comforter from his sweaty torso and legs. He stood, groaning with a stretch, and then made his way towards the very small kitchen that he owned, or rented, rather. There wasn’t much of a wonder about what he was heading towards, it being quite clear if you simply just knew who he was. Within moments, Johnny was rummaging around in the fridge, reaching for a beer located on the top shelf. First priority when going grocery shopping, of course.

The rebel had downed the thing before making it out the door of his apartment, clad in nothing but a pair of plaid pajama pants. He learned once making it out of the lobby and into the midnight air that his choice of apparel wasn’t inappropriate at all. It was pretty damn warm in June, he had quickly learned upon the first few days of moving to California. Weather was always indifferent with Johnny anyway. Hot or cold, he just endured and didn’t give much of a shit.

He had no destination, really. In all reality, there had barely been any motivation to get out of his room, and no reason other than the fact of his impossibility to sleep. This happened every once in awhile, and each time he would drag himself into the outside world and roam it sleeplessly, much like a zombie. Sometimes he would stop at a club or two, but he really hadn’t dressed in expectation of that. A quick trip to the park would do.

The walk wasn’t that long of a one, and Johnny’s eyes were mostly closed the entire trip. The only thing that lifted his lids was the poignant scent of cigarette smoke. Fuck, he had forgotten to bring a pack with him. Cravings immediately began to pounce on him, rip and tear at him insanely. Since when did a chain-smoker forget his cigarettes? With an angry sigh, Johnny glanced around the area, and it was within seconds that he found the source of the smell, and along with it, a painfully familiar face.

Isabella Castellona. Johnny winced at just the fact that he could remember her name. The peculiar part was that he didn’t even know why he remembered it. He had hardly used her name at all, between the nicknames he’d given her of ‘whore’ and ‘bitch’ and ‘pathetic sadistic cunt.’ And good god, she was smoking. He winced again, stopping in his tracks and feeling the grass and dirt between his bare toes. There wasn’t a single bit of him that actually wanted to go near her, but instead it was an urge, something beyond him, and something he always hated. Almost accidently, he took a step forward, and sighed inwardly.

Maybe he could at least get something he wanted out of her.

“Dumb bitch.” He hissed, flicking the cigarette out from between her lips. It hit the ground somewhere to the side of her. Johnny could be hypocritical if he wanted to, at least for the sake of fucking with one of his past flings, such as Bella. But what really bothered him was why she was here, all the way in California. “That’s it. You’re following me.” He concluded, meanly, taking hold of one of the chains that was holding up the precious tire swing Isabella sat upon.

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[Isabella Castellona]

She hated him. It was plain and simple. She hated everything about him down to that stupid smirk that was always on his lips, though really it was more like a scowl when he looked at her.

But then why did she keep thinking about him?

God she was a pathetic piece of human flesh. She was like those girls that fed off of guys that treated them terrible. Like a domestic violence relationship or those girls that for some reason stayed with their sleaze ball boyfriends. But Johnny was like that for her, not to quote Twilight but he truly was her own personal version of Heroin. He was so very detrimental to her health and didn't even like her. But yet so often she found herself consumed by him within her own thoughts. They hadn't even been friends, they'd met one fateful evening and he'd treated her like dog shit. He'd looked at her like she was the last person on this earth he would ever care about. And that was the night she became hooked to the fear he brought her. It was why she called him the next day and why she asked to draw him. And when they slept together? It only fed the fire of hate she had for him. He'd used her like the piece of trash that she was. And she hated him for it. It wasn't his right, he was supposed to walk away from her and leave her alone. But instead they had pretended for a few hours to care just to fulfill some petty need. At least that's what Bells told herself, that it was just some stupid need and nothing more. It made her sleep better at night that way.

The girl was too lost in this mental battle to hear the crunch of footsteps moving towards her. But Dumb bitch. sure as hell brought her back to reality. Her eyes shot open and she jumped backwards away from the voice. No no no. Tell me she's dreaming! No she wasn't dreaming because her cigarette was gone, but maybe it wasn't him. Her eyes lifted warily to search the face above her. "You." The word came from her mouth like it was diseased. Johnny always did seem to bring out a more bold side of Bella, but then again bold for Bella was like shy for other people. Dull blue eyes narrowed as she backed away from his bare frame. He looked good, fuck don't think that Bee. "Hah, don't flatter yourself. I'm paid to be here dip shit." She growled. All talk tonight though inside she was trembling at the very site of him. Because Johnny absolutely terrified her.

Why the hell was he here? California was way to nice of a place for the likes of him. She didn't need this either. She needed to get healthy from the California cheer and sun not sulk in her miserable past. Bringing her knees up like a wall in front of her chest she reached into her bag to pull out another cigarette. "Asshole." She muttered beneath her breath and lighting it. Taking a long drag she leaned forward to blow the cloud of smoke directly in his face. Keeping her hand away from him so he couldn't hit it away again she offered a stretched and sadistic smile. "Go. Away." Of course she didn't want him to go away but it made herself feel better to be perceived as big and tough. Johnny certainly wasn't as big and tough these days, sure he looked damn fine tonight but he'd lost some weight along the road. Though he still made her look far too thin but that wasn't hard. Her bags had already darkened under her eyes since being here. I mean let's be honest for being absolutely beautiful, she looked like shit.

[Johnny Wood]

Johnny spent most of his time trying to escape the past. When he had left home, trying desperately to put the life he knew and the family he knew behind him, he had ended up at some kind of boarding school. He didn't attend the classes there, being nineteen at the time, but they allowed him to room at one of the dorms anyway. It was cheap enough, but he didn't stay there long. After meeting Isabella there, and a number of other unfortunate events, he tried his best to take off again. Now here he was, and the past had followed him.

Oh, Isabella, the sickening Italian broad. Johnny could remember clearly the day that she nearly begged him to come over, so that she could draw him. He had yet to say a single disapproving word about her artwork, but he put her down about everything else he possibly could, even her skills in bed which he found out shortly after. He had been her tie to the world that night. He had held her tightly in bed after having sex with her, held her tight until she stopped crying and heaving and shaking. She had mental breakdowns often. There was no telling what damage he caused her from him leaving abruptly and never returning. He suspected she would get to telling him that eventually, and try her best to express to him how horrible he really was. He had only heard it a million times before.

"Is that really how you should treat the boy you fell in love with?" Johnny scoffed, pushing at the chain attached to the tire swing so that she twirled annoyingly around in circles. His bare feet padded across the grass until he reached where Bella's cigarette had landed, and he calmly plucked it from the ground. Placing it between his sensual lips, he turned back to Isabella, giving her a look like he had found her out- and indeed he had. It would be a lie for her to say that she completely hated him, especially since she may actually have loved him at one point.

But really, what the fuck was she doing here in California? He refrained from asking, as something like that really didn't matter. Obviously it was a coincidence, but it was also a huge brain fuck. Johnny was quite frustrated that he was standing in front of her once again, and at the same time, a tad bit relieved. If he had anything nice to say about her, it was that she was a good bed warmer, even with as ridiculously small as she was. Johnny pulled a long drag out of her former cigarette, letting it fill his lungs. He could taste her.

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[Isabella Castellona]

Johnny was a big chunk of the past Bella had long been running from. Though in reality he was just a small blip on the big picture. She didn't know why she had such a thing for the bastard, didn't know why that night she'd broken down. She was stronger now. Stronger than she had been in years and since she'd seen Johnny that's for certain. She hadn't broke down in awhile and she was a lot better at walling herself up inside. Bella had tried to forget about her rendezvous with Johnny at school and she had mostly succeeded minus the whole him haunting her drawings when she least expected it. It was annoying, like a kid brother or a little gnat the floated around your head.

Bella knew that the day they had sex was embarrassing. She'd been a wreck and he had taken advantage of her. Seeing him and thinking about it made her even more angry. He had no right at all to do that and she was already going crazy. SHe shuddered thinking about her lack of control, thinking about the screaming and the tears. She was above that now. She hadn't cried in years. Hadn't let any of that obnoxious helplessness bubble back up. The amount of bipolar medicine she was on also helped. The doctors finally diagnosed her with a proper disease. The medicine was good, the medicine was helping her. Bella was almost normal in an empty vessel kind of way.

When he spoke she laughed, out loud. The hollow sound coming from her throat like dead leaves. "Oh so that's how you sleep at night then jack ass? Thinking I loved you. That's a joke." Her eyes were cold as he spun her and she growled beneath her breath. Popping one leg out from under her she stuck it to the ground to keep him from spinning her any more. It was getting old. With a sigh as he lifted her old cigarette to his lips she fought back the thoughts of how nice it might be to kiss him. As much as she hated him she did find some uses out of him.

"Why are you here?" She demanded coming to a stand and moving close to him. She was just below his chin now, her head tilted up. She wanted to hit him and push him and just shake him a bit. Show him that she was better now, that she could take him. She took another long drag and blew it out once more up into his face. "I still hate you." Was all she said.

[Johnny Wood]

Even though moments before it had been tangled within blades of grass, most likely stained with dog urine, Johnny was relieved to have a cigarette in hand. As he pulled in another cloud of smoke, the nicotine blackened his lungs and addicted him further. Although, in reality, he was frustrated and annoyed by the dirty habit Isabella had now picked up, he was also going to use it to his advantage. Then again, Bella would claim that he had used and taken advantage of her til the day she died. Johnny knew better. Any woman that wasn't piss drunk out of their mind knew what they were doing when they tilted their chin upward to kiss him. She knew what she was doing when she stripped from her clothes, though on the brink of tears like she always was back then. She knew what was happening as Johnny thrusted himself inside her again and again, and she was moaning, she was enjoying it.

"Is it a joke? Really?" He retorted, eyeing her like a lie detector. The only joke was that she still pretended as though she hated every moment of what had gone on between him that year or two ago. Johnny watched with a sick pleasure as Bells became irritated with her spinning tire swing. When she stuck her foot out and stopped the swing, facing him, he winked at her, that same smug grin on his sensual lips. She loved to hate that smile, and hated to love him.

He watched her closely as she lifted from the tire swing and moved directly in front of him, demanding why he was here. His nostrils flared as Bella blew smoke into his face for the second time. "Don't have your name on it." He retorted, blowing her off when it came to such a question. His attention really stuck to her though when she state that she still hated him. Johnny grinned. "I still remember what it felt like to fuck you." He shot back, a comback that would make her cringe, most likely with hatred. He then reached out to grasp her wrist, perhaps a bit too roughly. If it had been all that time ago at boarding school, her frail bones would have snapped in two. "And you should not be smoking." He hissed firmly, whilst puffing on a cigarette of his own.

Throwing her hand away, Johnny moved away from her, stepping over to the tire swing again. He placed his hand around the chain once more, hanging on it a bit. "Yeah, you were a boney little bitch. You've put on some weight now though. Might be more comfortable to have you riding me without your bones nearly ripping holes in me." He insulted her, as he always did.

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[Isabella Castellona]

Bella had known what she was doing. She had known what she was getting into that fateful night. It had felt so right in a desperate kind of way. Bella was beyond hope back then, she was at the lowest of low and she needed that more than anything. Looking back she felt bile rising in her throat, she was disgusting. He was disgusting for sleeping with her. She was above it now, above selling herself short. The day after Johnny left Bella had woken up with a new found determination. It was the day Chai took her to the doctor and the day she got diagnosed. A few months later she moved to a new school, a new city and a new state. She made friends and she fell in the right sort of love. Just as quickly she fell out of love. She missed Noah, her old boyfriend and still friend, but she was over him. He had taught her to be her own person and she would prove Johnny that she was bigger and better than he would ever be.

"Yes." She growled low in her voice, blue eyes ice cold as she stared at him. He was right of course, she tried so hard to hate him and it never worked. Her body language was enough to prove her wrong. There was something about him, some physical attraction that tugged her to him, caused her to turn as he moved around and stay within a few feet of his body. Bella needed Johnny in some sense, he was the fire that kept her going. The hate that she tried to fake kept her going sometimes. When she wanted to give up on herself she'd think of his sadistic smile and would keep going just to prove him wrong. When he winked at her she flinched one hand raising as if she was going to slap him but then she brought it through her hair.

"Last time I checked the tour line-up that ran through here did. I'm the new photographer buddy." She replied back forcing a coy little smile. Two could play this game and she'd gotten surprisingly better than that. His words hurt as she spoke but instead of giving him the pleasure of knowing it she just lifted her head. "Hard to forget the one thing I regret in life." Her words were harsh as she looked away. And then he grabbed her wrist, a yelp escaped her lips as she stumbled forward. Fuck Johnny that hurt." She whimpered softly her eyes losing a bit of the fierceness as he held onto her wrist. As he spoke about her smoking though she managed another hollow laugh. "I'm dying anyways, can't hurt to speed up the process." Swallow that bitch. She thought to herself.

As he threw her hand away she drew it to her chest, rubbing the sore absently as she eyed him. He was still as crazy as ever. "I don't remember you complaining. If I remember correctly you enjoyed it. Yeah I did gain weight, but I'm still the bony bitch you fucked right?" She asked arching an eyebrow sarcastically.

[Johnny Wood]

Within a few more moments, his cigarette had burned so near to the filter that it was beginning to scorch his fingertips. With an irritable sigh, Johnny flicked the stub into the grass and stepped on it. His raging craving for nicotine hadn't been satiated though, but he would be damned if he asked Isabella for one. He knew she would make him beg. Johnny let go of the tire swing's chain, standing fully on his own too feet, even with as paper-like as his legs felt at the moment from the lack of sleep he was getting. He pushed his fingers, stained with tobacco, through his dark and messy hair. His eyes shut peacefully and he sucked in a breath through his nose. For a sweet second there, he had forgotten Bella was even there.

Upon hearing her voice, Johnny seemed to rumble with anger, like a threatening volcano. Why were they still talking? Why she was even here, he had yet to comprehend. His hands dropped heavily to his sides and he opened brown eyes to look dead at her. "Well aren't you fuckin' fabulous, baby." He muttered, failing to care about the career she carried now. There was only one thing he felt like he should say about it- "Does that mean you're gonna take pictures of me now instead of draw me?" He hissed. She couldn't deny it, she did enjoy him as a piece of art, if she didn't enjoy anything else. Johnny never understood what it was about him that made him a good centerfold in all of her art books.

As she complained, stroking her hurting wrist, Johnny pondered on what she had said about regretting that night. Well, didn't they both regret it? Didn't they both want more anyway? Johnny shook his head, ignoring most of what she said after that. He managed to catch her muttering something about her dying, which she always ended up saying at least once a day. Isabella- always dying in some way or another. She was sickeningly suicidal, and even if she claimed to be all better now, Johnny knew he could break her, make her resort back to her old ways. At the same time, though, he was one of the only thing keeping her alive.

"Yeah, you'll always be that bony bitch I fucked, Bee." Johnny said, his words escaping in a gentle sigh. He seemed a bit more relaxed all of a sudden, his arms stretching above his head as he fought a yawn. He touched his skin, his own fingers rolling down the hills of his abs, damp with morning dew. Bare feet led him back over to Isabella where he let his palm cup one of her cheeks. His face tilted close, nose burying in her hair as his lips settled near her ear. "But as I remember, you were unbearably tight. I liked that." He whispered. His other hand brushed at her back in a feather-like touch. Maybe he had missed her a little, at least missed fucking around with her like this.

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[Isabella Castellona]

She watched as he stood and watched as he ran that hand through his hair. He looked like shit. I mean he looked great if she was being honest with herself, but he also looked like he wasn't getting sleep again. God he was such a hypocrite. Always pointing the flaws and blame at Bella but never realized how pathetic he was. Haunted by his supposedly horrible past, not sleeping and not eating right. He called her thin but she remembered how scrawny he had been. How his body felt nearly as light as hers did, she was more frail than he was but stronger of course. Bella may be breakable but Johnny was still just as frail. It made her sick to think that he used his own weaknesses against her. He made her sick. His stupid way of getting under her skin to make himself feel better. She wanted to hate him.

That reaction was exactly what she wanted out of him. She met his gaze with her own steely eyes. He was an ass. "Considering how much I'll be getting paid, then yes. Baby." She dropped the last word like it was something nasty on her tongue. Spitting it out with fury before he continued to speak. "I'm over that sad part of my life. You're boring Johnny and I'm only shooting the big guys." She knew it would irk him just a bit to know that she didn't draw him anymore. I mean she did of course but it had been a while since they had seen each other and he didn't need to know she still did. Bella used to feed off that hatred, she used to think she deserved it. That the world was punishing her for what she did in life. But now that hatred that burned behind him terrified her. SHe didn't want a part of it any more.

Bella regretted it because he'd seen her when she was most vulnerable. He'd seen it and he'd held her and then he left. It wasn't supposed to work like that. The girl didn't need that. He had pretended he'd actually cared about her and then he had just disappeared, after being an asshole about everything of course. She would never forgive him for that. She'd fought long and hard to make her life right and she wouldn't ever let him see her like that again. He might think he could break her but she was determined not to let him. Isabella wasn't dying any time soon, she was staying on this earth for as long as she could and if she could make Johnny's life hell while she was here than that would be even better.

"Got that right. Fucked once and never again, Jay." She spat back with a mocking tone. She watched as he rubbed is chest and her eyes rolled. He was so fucking full of it. And then he was standing in front of her. One hand reaching up to rest on her cheek. Bella flinched slightly at his touch and she bit her lip to keep her from shuddering. God he was so good at manipulating her. When he leaned close to bury his face into her hair her breath hitched slightly. She missed his touch a bit. And then he spoke and ruined it all. She smirked slightly and one hand slid down to the button of his jeans. "And you were nothing special." She replied toying with the button absently. Her other hand slid onto his abs resting gently against the muscle. She let it sit their briefly enjoying the warmth, her body curving slightly to brush against him. And then she shoved. Hard. "If you want this again, try harder."

[Johnny Wood]

Not that he would ever admit it, but Johnny had been a bit out of his element back at the boarding school. He had dabbled in a lot of drugs and a lot of miscellaneous sex. His muscles had thinned, his cheekbones had become fiercely more defined in a sick-looking way. Though not even Isabella would admit to herself that he truly looked like shit- he wasn't in the best shape those couple years ago. The way Bella's eyes rested on him now revealed that she still saw him that way, just as weak as her. In reality, Johnny had never been weak, never on the brink of a breakdown like she had been for most of her life, and for as long as he had known her. The way she was treating him was her trying to beat him down into the pulp that he had made her that one night they were together.

Johnny had begun to eat the way he should, forgetting to pay money for the damaging drugs he used to take. His nights were spent walking instead of sleeping, granting him the toned body that stood before this girl now, as well as the tired and angry look in his eyes. And Johnny simply ignored everything she said as she eyed him critically. All she said was so misleading, and he could tell this by simply looking into those pools of blue eyes. There was something still left there for him in her heart.

"Really now?" He muttered back with the mock-surprised raise of his brows, tell tale that he simply didn't believe her when she said he was boring now. If he was, she wouldn't have bothered talking to him at all. In a matter of hours, a day or two at the most, he would be invited back to her place of residence, sitting on her couch, staring at her with hateful eyes that made her tremble. As much as she liked to say that everything was different now, he knew nothing had changed. Every last thing that they had before still lingered. She should know that.

When he had stepped closer, he could nearly feel the chills that Isabella was feeling. Johnny leaned nearer to her body, bathing in the slight warmth her skinny figure let off. At least she looked better, much more appealing, even if she was proving herself even more rejecting than before. Needless to say, he was at least a little surprised when he felt a fragile hand settle against his abs, forcing his muscles to tighten against her light touch, out of shock. It was around then that he noticed her fingers playing with the button of his jeans. He didn't honestly think she would unbutton them or anything. He had been exactly right when he felt her suddenly push him away, but he only went back a step or two, his body being hard as a rock nowadays.

"Bells, I know you too well for this bullshit. And besides, get a grip. I don't want you again." He said, his voice still gentle, not insulting. He returned close to her again, lips placing against her forehead as his fingertips played across the fine hairs on the back of her neck. "In fact, I want something I haven't had yet." He added, chin tilting down a bit for their faces to meet. He brushed the side of his nose against hers and kissed her lips so gently that it was like he wasn't even there. He couldn't recall ever having a romantic kiss in all of his life.

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[Isabella Castellona]

He had looked like crap when Bella had known him and he looked better now but he was right Bella would constantly see him as the weak man he used to be. He may have been weak in a different way than she was but he was still weak. Boiling all of his anger towards her, using it to break her down. That was weak. He had used his issues to break someone else just to save himself. She was trying to beat him down, unsuccessfully of course but she was not expecting to have success with it. Johnny was too manipulative to actually be manipulated. She knew that but there was no use in not trying, she wanted to make him feel what she had felt that night.

When she'd left KJ and switched schools to another in California Bella had stopped the drugs entirely. She'd gotten better from the fresh air and beach, and she'd gotten help from Noah. She had filled out and she looked less grimacing than she used to. She was still broken, that was something she didn't think could ever be fixed, but she felt better. Johnny was right again, she did have a small part left for him in her heart. A part that didn't want to let go of the idea that he really did care. She pushed it back as much as she could but it was always there. Tugging at her mind and filling it with hope. Hope was such a stupid concept. Only ever making your life harder.

"Yes." She thought that maybe if she just kept saying it she would begin to believe it, he would begin to believe it. Regardless Bella was determined not to make the same mistakes as before. She wouldn't call him or text him or want him back. She didn't need him to fill her muse, all he did now was fill her night mares. Digging into her dreams and ruining them. She had changed, a lot in comparison to how she used to be but she still felt that pull back to Johnny. She didn't know what it was and she hoped to god that it wasn't love, but it was there. Even now it was there.

Rejecting? That was a good thing then. She didn't want to be seen as appealing by him any more. Bella didn't want Johnny to want her, she wanted him to leave her alone. Wanted her life to finally be free of her past, this tour was supposed to be a fresh start. When his muscles tightened against her touch she smiled with satisfaction. He still felt something for her, that same physical attraction was still there and that pleased her. Bella knew Johnny didn't care for her but as long as she still could have some hold on him she was happy. Frustrated that he only stumbled a bit she sighed and crossed her arms over his chest letting his words wash over her.

"Stop calling me that."She growled beneath her breath as he called her Bells. "It sounds ruined coming from you. And good, cause you're not getting it. Not this time." The change in his tone was frightening and what was also frightening was that he was moving towards her. As his lips brushed her forehead she flinched away but his fingers grazing her neck caused her to move back. When he spoke her eyes opened once again, wide pools of ice meeting his gaze in confusion. "Wh-what are you doing?" She managed to squeak out her voice barely above a whisper. And then she felt his lips graze hers and one hand lifted to brush his cheek. What was this.

She let it rest there for a few seconds and then reality hit. What was he doing? This wasn't like him, this tenderness terrified her more than the hate. Bella stepped back quickly from him like an abused dog would back away from a human. Her fingers raised to her lips as she watched him, eyes wild waiting for him to say something hurtful. "Why? Was all she could muster.

[Johnny Wood]

Bella was trying to convince herself just as much as she was trying to him. By the slight lack of confidence in her eyes, it looked as though she was failing at both. But even if she were completely confident in herself, her self esteem back up to high, her depression subsided- Johnny would never see it. Always, he would consider her as broken down and pathetic as she used to be, simply because she had no way of proving herself to him. She hated him far too much to take him back to her place and prance around him like a girl who thought she was all that. No, once he had gotten her naked, she had trembled with nervousness and insecurity. He had felt dominate, and the sex had made him feel like a king.

When Isabella snapped at him for using a well-known pet name, he shook his head at her. She truly did love to hate him, didn't she? And just at the time that Johnny was beginning to calm down his aimless anger. He remembered how she used to coo and moan when he called her by such names, how he had called her Bee during that long night of sex and she had moaned beneath her breath, pleased. For one night it had seemed that they really, avoiding the word love, liked each other. That moment was lost and gone at this point, and only a miracle would bring it back.

A terrified look crossed Bell's face when Johnny got too near, and his brows had furrowed at the realization of her fright. What was she scared of? Him hitting her, hurting her? He could almost feel the shock that spread through her when he touched her. Her hand reacted, placing lightly on his cheek as soon as his lips had grazed hers. The kiss was so gentle, and even so, it scared her to all hell, making her tear away after only a few seconds. Johnny's hand remained in the air after she pulled away, and slowly made its way back down to his side.

While his ex lover huddled back from him, Johnny migrated back to the tire swing. His rough, callused hands grasped the chains as he pulled himself onto the tire that could barely hold his weight. He leaned back a bit, staring into the night sky as he listened to Bella's voice stutter her words and then demand why he had done such a thing "I don't know, Isabella." He sighed, irritably, her name sounding too long as it rolled off his tongue.

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[Isabella Castellona]

Just as he would always consider her pathetic and useless, she would always remember him as terrifying. It wasn't that she was afraid that he would hurt her physically but she was afraid that he would always hate her. Bella didn't like the way his eyes so easily ripped into her core and saw who she really was. It was unnerving. It was one of the reasons she wasn't like other girls, she refused throw her body around to manipulate him like most girls. When they had sex she can remember anticipating him getting upset with her and yelling. She'd let him take control for the fear that one wrong move would set him off with a new reason to loathe her. She wasn't quite like that anymore though, still not to the point where she threw herself at guys but she knew she could hold her own.

Hating Johnny gave her a sense of purpose. She was trying to block out there little episode of sex, trying to forget how much she actually needed it just now. Bella had a need for physical affection, not only sex but anything. From cuddling to hugging to just holding hands. It had been awhile too and she just wanted someone to hold her. So thinking about the sex, thinking about the hatred and the lust that was behind it wasn't helpful at a time where she was trying not to jump his bones. That night had given her a hope that he did really like her but she didn't like to dwell on that thought.

That kiss still lingered on her lips, the tingle that left her was not easy. The fact that it was gentle was what scared her. Johnny didn't do things like that, he wasn't gentle or friendly with her ever. So now that he was being gentle it had freaked her out, actually it had absolutely terrified her. Bella watched as his hand stayed in the air for a few seconds and she bit her lip nervously not knowing what to do. He seemed almost hurt as he back to the tire swing. And then when he said her name she shook her head anxiously.

"Johnny...I-I..." She stuttered nervously and then she took a deep breath. She moved towards him, her feet deliberate and her head down so she couldn't see him. Bella didn't want to think and chicken out. She just wanted to kiss him one more time. When she reached the swing she brought her hand to his cheek. She slid into his lap, her legs straddling him as best as she could as she leaned forward to graze her lips over his own. Pressing herself against the warmth of his body she let her gray blue eyes close and her free arm slid around his neck. Sure he might get pissed, he might yell and push her off but she didn't care. She just wanted to kiss him once more.

[Johnny Wood]

Awkwardly enough, he always did have some little thing for her. Poor little Bella, always crying, always cutting, always dying and depressed. She honestly was everything he had once hated at one point in time, all in one human form. She had been so easy to beat to a pulp, and it had been so fun to kick her when she was down. Now that Johnny was staring at this girl once again, some kind of tougher, better version of her old self, he was momentarily finding it fun to bicker back in forth with her, throwing around insults. None of them he took to heart, because he knew she was saying them all so half assed, some as though even she wasn't believing them. They hated each other, that was clear, but the way they loved each other was even clearer. Wasn't that why Johnny hadn't walked away yet, or was he simply having fun just watching her break down bit by bit all over again.

For the first time in his life, Johnny had absolutely nothing to say. He didn't necessarily feel embarrassed that he had kissed Bella, since he had done such a thing many a time. It was more so that he hadn't expected himself to do it, considering that he was thinking earlier how pathetic and ugly she still was. All the relationship they had was just a bunch of lies and fronts. Deep down, Johnny quite missed the feeling of being burrowed into her core whilst she whimpered his name. It wouldn't be too long before he expressed this feeling out loud. When it came to hating someone or wanting sex, he was very blunt about saying so.

He had heard her frail footsteps nearing, but nothing triggered in his mind. It wasn't as if he completely expected her to drop into his lap, or crawl nervously into it, rather. Once he felt the brush of her body onto his, her alabaster skin turn hot on his own flesh, Johnny's eyes lowered slowly onto her. "What the fuck is your deal?" He hissed, hands taking her hips sharply, ready to throw her off. And then he felt her soft skinned arms slither around his neck and her familiar lips fall upon his own. His body temperature flushed with a bit of shock, and the intentions for his hands on her hips changed. His fingers clung to her clothing, pulling her body nearer as he melted into her surprise kiss. His tongue continuously brushed against hers, and a man-like groan fell from him. He could have said something extremely smart ass at the moment, but refrained.

His hips pushed against hers, then slightly drew away, testing her, showing her that he was still mean. His fingers moved up the sleeves of her shirt, head tilted away from her as her tongue skated across the flesh of his neck. That was his sweet spot, and she had learned it within two seconds of merely kissing. He moved his hands up the back of her shirt, fingers falling into the deep dip of her spine, massaging it, dragging his short nails up in down it. Could he even afford to let himself to not hate her? But if he still hated her...why was he wanting her so badly right now?

Johnny hissed against Bella's lips as he found himself in that situation again. But once more, he did not fight it, even as his hate for her still brewed inside him. His fingers grazed against her back again, just like in the memory. His nails scraped her flesh sensually, teeth nipping at her lower lip with a lust and desire that was bubbling to the surface all over again.

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[Isabella Castellona]

Bella was obviously attracted to Johnny, she'd be blind if she wasn't. But she hated admitting that, the thought about him having some sort of control over her just infuriated her. He was already so good at breaking her down and hurting her, now throw in the small chance that he knew about her affections and she was screwed. He seemed to be enjoying himself, making fun o her and trying to prove that she would never be strong. Bella had never understood why he hated her so much, had never understood why he took it upon himself to make her life miserable. And why hadn't he left yet? He continued to stare at her with those smoldering old eyes, mocking her over and over again. She let the thought that he actually cared for her quickly leave her mind and replaced it with the realization that he just wanted to fuck her up some more.

His words made her flinch a bit and she quickly looked away. "Just shut the fuck up." She growled not letting him ruin this. She knew he wanted to throw her off so when his hands instead pulled her closer a slight whimper escaped her lips. She knew that he had wanted this but when he kissed her back she smiled against his lips. It was random, her kissing him like that, but at this particular moment she had forgotten the context of it all. She was just finally with Johnny again. Bella would never dream of dating him and probably wouldn't let this happen again but just the idea that he wanted it as much as she did gave her a sense of satisfaction. As much as he wanted to behave like Bella was a waste of his time the way he kissed her back contradicted all the things that he had said early. The groan was just the icing on the cake.

The hiss that escaped him made her press her lips harder against him. Her hand sliding into his dark locks and wrapping within them. She scraped her nails over his scalp and dug her hips more firmly into his frame. When his fingers dug into her spine she shuddered much like last time. Feeling the nails against her skin Bella pulled away from his mouth only to let her lips trail along the stubble of jaw, down to his neck. She nibbled gently against the flesh for a second before letting her lips move up to his ear. Teeth pulled against his lobe before sliding back down his neck and to his adam's apple. She teased him for a few seconds before once again pressing her lips hungrily to his own. Her free hand, the one that wasn't wrapped within his hair slid down his chest towards the top of his jeans.

She tugged on the button, undoing it with one hand and letting her hand slide beneath the denim and over the cotton of his boxers. Let's be honest, she had one thing on the mind tonight. Sex. Bella wasn't normally so forceful and maybe she was only being so to prove a point. Regardless she'd have him by the end of the night but until them she just wanted to play him a bit. She wouldn't just give him what he wanted right off the bat, she'd make him work for this. By making him work it would only make him want it again more.