WILKENS, drew peter

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"well, it all depends, really. mostly I like Drew, but if you have boobs I'll allow the occasional Drewy. Do you have boobs? Can I see?"

I HAVE TO ASK: MALE, FEMALE, OR SOMETHING IN BETWEEN?
"I'm a male...a very manly male."

GOOD, I WAS STARTING TO WORRY. NOW, HOW OLD ARE YOU EXACTLY?
"I'm twenty-one years old, bitch. Yeah, I can buy alcohol...sweet, I know. Not that it ever stopped me before. My birthday just so happens to be December 20th. Five days before Christmas. Lucky me. My sign? I told you, I'm a fuckin' male! Nah, I'm kidding. I honestly don't know, nor do I care."

WELL, YOU LOOK YOUNG FOR YOUR AGE. HOW DO YOU STAY IN SHAPE?
"I don't, to be honest."

OH, I'LL HAVE TO TRY THAT. MOVING ON: YOUR HAIR, IS THAT YOUR NATURAL COLOR?
"Sure as fuck. But in the summer the sun gives it a bit of highlightage, and in the winter it's a darker color."

DON'T MEAN TO BE A PEST BUT, HOW TALL ARE YOU EXACTLY?
"I'm 5'11. I'm pretty damn happy with it...tall enough so I'm taller than the ladies, short enough so I'm not a freak."

I WOULD NEVER HAVE CONSIDERED THAT GEORGE CLOONEY MIGHT BE GAY. WHAT ABOUT YOU?
"WHO THE FUCK IS THAT? Oh, me? I'm straight. I go for the ladies. Mhmmm...even if they don't always go for me."

OH REALLY? WELL, WHAT BAND ARE YOU IN WHAT'S YOUR POSITION?
"Charlie's killer FTW. i'm the singer. ya digg?"

WELL THEN, WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?
"Um, I play W.O.W. No joke. It's fun, okay? I also like to shop...not for prissy things, I'm not gay, I just like shopping, okay? I also like drinking in my spare time...not even going out, just, you know, drinking in general. I also really love wedding crashing...I've done it a couple times. No joke. Think I'm lying? I'll show you the pictures. It's really easy to get in."

DON'T WORRY, THIS IS ALL CONFIDENTIAL. GO AHEAD, TELL US WHAT YOU ENJOY.
"What do I like? well, girls. I'm not gay, so yeah. I'm also a drinker, so I enjoy alcohol, probably more than I should. Video games are totally kick ass. As I said before I like shopping. I also like Marvel comic books. They're fun. Spiderman FTW. I also like computers...fuckin' IM is my life. Ditto with myspace. I turn down hanging out with people sometimes so I can stay home and go online."

WHAT ABOUT SOMETHING THAT GETS ON YOUR NERVES?
"Slutty girls. Can't stand 'em. Whore-ish guys get on my nerves. I don't like running out of alcohol, or being called an alcoholic. That pisses me the hell off. I don't like being called gay, but a few people seem to think I am...I also don't like DC comics. Ew."

I'LL HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT. SO, ARE YOU GOOD AT ANYTHING?
"I'm a kick ass guitarist, if I do say so myself. Which I do. I'm pretty good at holding my liquor down, and I make a mean pot of coffee."

THAT'S INTERESTING, NOW WHAT ARE YOU NOT SO GOOD AT?
"Not so good at drawing. Or singing. or sitting still, I have this thing where I always have to move. I'm also not to good at dancing...um, I kinda look like some kind of dying animal, I think. So I stay away from the dance floor at all costs."

I BET I CAN BEAT YOU IN A THUMB WRESTLE AND HOLD MY BREATHE LONGER THAN YOU AT THE SAME TIME.
"Highly doubtful, buddy."

YOU MUST THINK I'M CRAZY. OH WELL, SAY, WHAT KIND OF QUALITIES DO YOU LIKE IN A SPOUSE?
"I like sweet girls. The ones with hearts of gold. The ones that don't give a fuck if I'm a fuck up who drinks too much. Blonde or black hair is hot...mostly black, cause blonde hair makes it look like we're twins or something. Shortness is cute."

OH, I GUESS I'M NOT YOUR TYPE THEN, EH? WELL, WHAT DO YOU FIND UNATTRACTIVE IN A PERSON?
"Not a big fan of red hair, or any crazy colors. Who wants to find purple hair on the pillow their girlfriend used? I hate girls who wear too much make up and cover up their pretty face. A little is cool, but jesus!"

FINE, BE LIKE THAT. I DON'T LIKE YOU ANYWAYS.
"I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU. Nah, just kidding. We can work out our differences, right?"

OK, WE'RE GONNA PLAY A GAME. I'M GOING TO ASK SOME SIMPLE QUESTIONS, AND YOUR GOING TO SAY THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND, OK?
"I freaked out when I saw the words 'play a game'...fucking saw...anyway, lets do it.."

FAVORITE FOOD?
"Bananas...what?! they're good!"

FAVORITE MOVIE?
"Superbad!"

FAVORITE BAND/ARTIST?
"that kick ass band, Charlie's Killer."

FAVORITE DRINK?
"Fuckin' Rum. Anything with Rum in it."

FAVORITE SUBJECT?
"Wahhh?"

FAVORITE SPICE GIRL?
"Who? Aren't they Brits? That's hot. ALL OF THEM."

FAVORITE TV SHOW?
"Ren and Stimpy! Old shows are the best."

FAVORITE HOLIDAY AND SEASON?
"I like Thanksgiving...it gives me a reason to eat everything in the house. As for season, I don't give a fuck."

FAVORITE WORD?
"who the hell cares?"

FAVORITE FAMOUS DEAD PERSON?
"ELVIS. he's just a hunka hunka burnin' love."

FAVORITE TIME OF DAY?
"MARGARITA TIME!"

FAVORITE COLOR?
"Green."

FAVORITE BOOK?
"Who reads?"

FAVORITE TOY?
"...-gigglesnort-"

WELL, WASN'T THAT FUN? ON TO THE SERIOUS SHIT. TELL ME A BIT ABOUT YOURSELF.
"I guess I'm kinda dorky. I like comic books. I'm also a drinker, but not a partier. I'm definitely a computer geek. Need something fixed? Call me up baby, I'll fix it. Only computers though, I'm useless with tools. Like hammers and shit. I am good at getting hammered, though."

MHMM, AND WHAT ABOUT YOUR FAMILY?
"My mom died when I saw young. So I grew up with my aunt, uncle,and cousins. Milo and Symphony's parents were always good to me, you know? I don't have much to complain about. My dad left before I was born.

VERY INTERESTING. SO HOW DID YOU END UP IN AT THIS TOUR?
"Grew up in a small place in Vermont. When Milo and I decided to start a band we left town. His sister tagged along...she's still tagging along. Not that I mind, she's a sweet kid, really."

RIGHT ON, MY FRIEND. SO, CAN YOU TELL US WHAT WAS YOUR BEST MEMORY?
"uhh, out first show i guess. It was just a good time for me. Good vibes, all the shit I was getting from the crowds...it was all good vibes. Plus it was the first time I got hammered..."

HOW, LOVELY. AND WHAT ABOUT YOUR WORST MEMORY?
"When my dad decided to come to my house and try and visit me for the first time ever. I guess he remembered where my aunt and uncle lived...anyway, he was totally fucked up. Drunk, high off his rocker, it just scared me. I'm scared that I'm gonna end up like that."

NOW, JUST WONDERING. WHAT RELIGION ARE YOU EXACTLY?
"I'm Christian...only cause my mom was though...I'm not so sure there's really a god...I just have to hope there is for her sake, you know? I love her."

WHAT SORT OF CAREER WILL YOU GO INTO THEN?
"After the band's done with I think I'll go into computers. Good idea, no? Or maybe Symph and I can make a comic book together!"

WHAT HAPPENED TO BE YOUR FIRST WORDS?
"Sadly, I don't know..."

OMGWTFBBQ?!? WELL, LOOK AT THAT. I'VE NEVER SEEN A GENIE ACTUALLY COME OUT OF THE BOTTLE. WHAT ARE YOUR THREE WISHES?
"I wish for my mom to come back, a martini, and a margarita."


WOW, WASN'T THAT FASCINATING?
"sure, yeah, wahtever."

SO, YOU, UH, WITH ANYBODY AT THE PRESENT MOMENT?
"Nah. This bird is flying solo at the moment. Sadly."

WELL, YOU WANNA GO OUT SOME TIME? WHERE CAN I TAKE YA?
"You don't have to take me anywhere. We can just sit on my couch, watch a movie, and cuddle."

HEY, IF YOUR NOT BUSY FRIDAY...WANNA GO OUT?
"You're not my type, sorry. We can still be friends though!"

ALRIGHT, WHATEVER/COOL. THIS INTERVIEW IS COMING TO AN END. ANYTHING YOU WANT TO TELL US?
"um, well, I should probably tell you that the hulk is in no way better than Spiderman. Despite what Milo may or may not have told you."

THIS FAKE INTERVIEWER DUDE GUY WILL SELF DESTRUCT IN FIVE SECONDS.
"Bye bye! Call me! If you're not...destructed."
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ON THE STEREO,
LISTEN AS WE GO,
DRIVING DOWN THE 101.
ELIZABETH has been trying to escape this doggone planet for AGEINLETTERS years,
but they've found themselves stuck in the vortex of role playing for RPEXPERIENCE years.
too bad. we could have busted them out if they didn't live all the way in
the TIMEZONE timezone. you can always reach them at CONTACTINFO/PM.
hold up, you'll need the password, which is SECRETPHRASE and we'll need
to see some proof that you're a BOY/GIRL. yep, pull down those pants.
ok, well, i'll just take your paperwork and be going:

CALIFORNIA HERE WE COME,
RIGHT BACK WHERE WE STARTED FROM.
say hold up, wait a minute. let me put some pimpin' in
it! yep, that's right, this sexy application template was made
by yours truly: CHRISS a.k.a. LENNY GOT LAID ?! @
CAUTION 2.0. yeah, see those fawesome lyrics? that be
california by none other than phantom planet. and by the way,
if you happen to remove this little credit, i'll sned vampires
after you in the night to rip out your jugular. and they won't
be as sexy as you think the cullens are. uh-huh.[/center]